In the landscape of Indonesian youth, a profound transformation is reshaping traditional norms of love and marriage among young women. We have already written an article as part 1, which you can read here. Amid the background of economic challenges that are discussed in Part I, if evolving social dynamics, and pervasive media influences, a growing number of women are choosing to delay marriage in favor of alternative methods of emotional and personal fulfillment.

This reflects a nuanced interplay between the quest for financial stability, societal expectations, and the search for genuine emotional connections. To respond to these reasons, young Indonesian women are increasingly turning to alternative forms of emotional and social engagement.

Pet Love as New Form of Love

The phenomenon of “pet love” has emerged as a significant trend among young Indonesians, particularly women, who are increasingly choosing pets as companions over entering into traditional relationships or marriages at an early age. Pets offer a sense of emotional fulfillment and companionship that aligns with the busy and often solitary lifestyles of urban dwellers. 

For many young women, pets become a source of unconditional love and support, filling the emotional void that might otherwise be sought through romantic relationships.

Pets are seen not only as companions but also as a means of achieving emotional balance in a demanding world. The commitment required to care for a pet is often perceived as more manageable than the complexities of romantic relationships or the responsibilities of early marriage.

Furthermore, the growing community of pet owners and pet-related social events provide a supportive network, making pet ownership a socially enriching experience.

Economic factors also play a role in this trend. Caring for a pet, while requiring a financial investment, is often seen as more predictable and less financially demanding than the commitments associated with marriage or raising children.

As more young women delay marriage and focus on career and personal growth, pets become a practical and emotionally satisfying alternative that fits into their evolving lifestyles. The rise of pet-friendly amenities and services in urban areas further facilitates this choice, making pet ownership an appealing option for those seeking companionship without the immediate pressures of traditional relationships.

Many women are finding emotional fulfillment through raising cats, which they view as ideal companions. Unlike dogs, often culturally associated with the characteristics of men, cats offer a sense of independence and companionship that resonates more closely with their lifestyle and emotional needs.

For many, cats also serve as a comforting alternative to the traditional pressures of marriage and parenthood. Introducing their cats as their “children” or “grandchildren” to their parents allows them to navigate familial expectations with humor and affection, offering relief from conventional expectations to start a family.

Fulfilling Needs of Love with Fangirling and Fandom

In the vibrant world of modern fandom, passionate engagement with music, movies, and celebrities often transcends mere entertainment, evolving into a profound source of emotional fulfillment and connection. 

For many young Indonesians, particularly women, fan-girling and active participation in fandom communities have become vital ways to satisfy their intrinsic need for love and belonging. Some of them are even willing to pay subscriptions for services where they can have direct interaction with artists, like in DearU Bubble and Weverse.

At its core, fangirling involves a deep admiration and affection for favorite idols, bands, or fictional characters. This intense enthusiasm creates a sense of personal attachment and emotional investment, providing fans with a form of love and admiration that can feel deeply personal and fulfilling.

The shared joy of celebrating a beloved figure or cultural artifact fosters a sense of belonging, as fans connect with others who share their passion. This connection is particularly strong in fandoms where members support each other, exchange ideas, and celebrate their shared interests through social media, fan clubs, and fan conventions.

The act of fan-girling also offers a unique avenue for expressing and experiencing emotions. Fans often find solace and joy in their interactions with their idols or in consuming content related to their fandoms.

This emotional engagement provides a safe space for individuals to explore their feelings and form parasocial relationships—one-sided connections where fans feel a bond with their idols. These relationships can offer a sense of intimacy and companionship, fulfilling the need for emotional closeness even in the absence of direct personal interactions.

Moreover, fandom communities often function as supportive networks, where fans can find acceptance and validation. These communities provide a platform for individuals to express themselves freely, share their experiences, and receive encouragement from like-minded peers.

The collective experience of fandom—be it through cheering at a concert, participating in online discussions, or creating fanart—fosters a powerful sense of community and shared identity.

This sense of belonging can be particularly significant for those who might feel isolated in their everyday lives, offering a vital source of social connection and support.

Fandoms also create opportunities for personal growth and self-expression. Fans frequently engage in creative activities such as writing fan fiction, creating fan art, or producing videos, which not only enhances their connection to the fandom but also allows them to develop new skills and explore their creativity.

This active participation provides a sense of purpose and achievement, contributing to personal fulfillment and a deeper connection to their interests.

Dating Shows as a Substitute for Love Experience

Dating shows like Netflix’s Single Inferno & Nineteen to Twenty, or Viu’s My Siblings Romance & Possessed Love, gained immense popularity in Indonesia, emerging as an intriguing substitute for traditional romantic experiences, particularly among younger audiences.

These shows offer a mediated and often dramatized glimpse into the dynamics of modern relationships, allowing viewers to vicariously experience the highs and lows of dating and romance.

For many young women who are focused on their education or careers and may not have the time or inclination for traditional dating, these shows provide a convenient and entertaining way to explore relationship scenarios from the comfort of their homes.

The appeal of dating shows lies in their ability to present a diverse array of romantic situations and personalities, offering viewers insights into different approaches to love and partnership.

Participants on these shows often face challenges and dilemmas that resonate with the audience, creating a sense of relatability and engagement.

For young Indonesian women, these shows can serve as a form of social learning, offering lessons on relationship dynamics, communication, and compatibility that can be applied to their own lives.

Moreover, dating shows fulfill a cultural function by reflecting and sometimes challenging societal norms around love and marriage. They provide a platform for exploring contemporary issues such as gender roles, emotional intelligence, and the complexities of modern dating.

This allows viewers to critically engage with traditional concepts of love and relationships, fostering a more nuanced understanding of what is considered a healthy and fulfilling partnership.

The growing popularity of dating shows also reflects the changing landscape of romantic interactions in Indonesia. As social and economic factors lead more young people to delay marriage, dating shows offer a form of entertainment that bridges the gap between traditional courtship and modern relationship expectations.

Concluding Remarks

The decision to delay marriage and seek alternative forms of love and fulfillment reflects a significant transition in societal values and personal priorities.

For many young Indonesian women, the traditional path to marriage is being redefined by a complex array of economic considerations, media influences, and the pursuit of personal passions.

This reimagining of love and relationships illustrates a generation that is navigating the complexities of modern life with a keen awareness of both the opportunities and challenges that lie ahead.